Drunken Wu-Tang

Everyone that has watched this film call it one of the most insane kung-fu films they have ever seen. My question is; how the hell do you actually know what is going on in this movie? On the other hand, insane is probably the best word to describe it. There is so much crazy shit going on in this movie, you have no idea what’s going on, and that’s what’s insane! Does that work?... Sure, why not?

Drunken Wu-Tang is a very odd and wacky kung-fu flick, probably one of the weirdest you’ll ever see. A kung-fu flick for the ADHD crowd, if you will. Here’s my attempt to explain this film: a reincarnated Taoist known as Master Ruthless has returned to steal a sacred document, under his new identity of Old Devil. Then there’s Ratface, a drunk Taoist who is assigned the task to find a young virgin boy born on August 15th to perform for an upcoming Dragon Festival. Now comes Yuen, a young virgin boy that was born on the 15th of August studying Taoism from his very manlike grandmother, who possesses the secret document and plans to pass it on to Yuen. It’s amazing how some things come together like this.

It’s your typical battle between good and evil, where Yuen, through the guidance of Ratface must defeat Old Devil before he destroys them. Along the way they each come in contact with some rather strange characters they must to battle with. They include Porcupine Back, a large woman only known as Fat Lady, Shining Knight, and the crown jewel of this film, The Watermelon Monster, a Pac-Man-like creature that snaps at your crotch and sucks your energy through your nipples.

… What?

That’s about all I can tell you because I really don’t know what else happens. This film is purely chaotic, and it strays away from the story so much you never know what’s going on. If there is anything else to the story, I haven’t figured it out yet. All that stands out from this 80-minute riot is a fight involving a six-foot long sword, Ratface looking for the virgin (which they hilariously refer to as ‘Cherry Boy’) by going up to a bunch of men and getting them to pull down their pants (eww…), the fight with the Fat Lady when she quacks (which comes out of nowhere), some of the horribly dubbed lines, and of course The Watermelon Monster. Words cannot describe The Watemelon Monster.

If you don’t develop a seizure from watching Drunken Wu-Tang, you might actually like it, even if you are totally confused by what happens. It really is an insane movie. I’m aware that at the beginning of this review I said that I wasn’t certain if insane was the right word to describe this movie. But in writing this review I realized I was mistaken; Drunken Wu-Tang is completely insane! It’s insane enough to be worth watching, but still all too weird to wholly enjoy. Regardless, you just have to see it for yourself. I guarantee you will be baffled…

… that Watermelon Monster… unbelievable…

Final Mark: 2.5/5



EXTRA CRAP
The Good: Some of the fight scenes are pretty good, even though they get just at bizarre as the rest of the movie, and the dubbing is so horrible it’s hilarious!

The Bad: Is it just me, or did the Fat Lady just quack??

The Ugly: The Watermelon Monster. ‘Nuff said.

In A Nutshell: This film wins the award for ’the movie with the most WTF? moments’. And remember kids; if you walk down a dark alleyway and run into The Watermelon Monster, you better run and hide, otherwise it will steal your energy through your nipples. Seriously.

Useless Trivia: It may not be that obvious to you, but if you can look past the insanity, you’ll notice that director Cheung-Yan Yuen, who is sill quite popular in his home country, plays two roles in this film: he plays Yuen’s grandmother (huh?) and The Drunken Taoist aka Rat Face. Cheung-Yan Yuen is still working today, and more recently choreographed the fight scenes in the remake of Charlie’s Angels.

Favourite Quote(s):

• Princess: Who are you?
  Old Devil: I’m the Devil!
• Old Devil: Give me the book or I’ll kill you all.
  Monk: Don’t threaten us and get off our roof!