Showing posts with label reviews - K. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reviews - K. Show all posts

23 November, 2009

Killer Klowns from Outer Space

And you thought Pennywise was terrifying...

Coulrophobia runs rampant in this out-of-this-world alien invasion flick. Killer Klowns from Outer Space is by far one of the strangest b-movies ever made. It's essentially an alien invasion horror film where the aliens look like clowns and utilize the likes of cotton candy and some impressive shadow puppets to abduct their victims. The fact that they are clowns sets the film up for a bombardment of puns, almost too many puns, to the point where your head gets sore from all the facepalms you perform on yourself while watching it.

Also, because they're clowns, their victims think they won't do any harm and don't realize what's happening until it's too late. This troubles me, because these clowns are fucking ugly! I don't care how much fun they are, if they don't look like nice clowns, don't stay to see what they do next!

Killer Klowns is like a movie adaptation of a Saturday Night Live skit: it's fun in small doses, but as a feature the gag runs pretty thin. I think the problem is like what other b-movies suffer from: it's self aware. It knows it's a big joke and doesn't take itself seriously. Too bad really, because seeing one of those fugly clowns drink a gelatinized human wrapped in cotton candy with a crazy straw is quite a sight to behold.

Final Mark: 2.5/5

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EXTRA CRAP
The Good: You have to admire the director's ambition to put together a bat-shit crazy idea.
The Bad: It ends with a pie in the face. *facepalm*
The Ugly: Imagine people with a clown fetish watching this film...
Food of Choice: Dark Chocolate Bacon Cupcakes
Drink of Choice: The Cotton Candy
Useless Trivia: There's a scene in a bathroom that the director wanted to rival the Psycho shower scene. His version includes a toilet. *facepalm*
Favourite Quote: Curtis Mooney - I made it through Korea I can make it through this bullshit!


14 July, 2008

Killer Tomaotes Eat France!

Whoever came up with the idea of making a fourth killer tomato film is an idiot.

You know, it’s one thing to build on a franchise; it’s another thing to milk it for all its worth, then continue to milk it dry. That’s what creator and franchise director John De Bello did by directing this fourth of three films. Granted, this was supposed to be the third film of the trilogy and would have been an acceptable conclusion. However this film was held back in favour of a different sub-par franchise entry, Killer Tomatoes Strike Back. That, along with an animated series, a videogame and a series of comic books proved to be complete killer fruit overexposure. So when this film finally came along, the interest in killer tomatoes was gone. It’s sad.

But even if there were some interest remaining for killer tomato films, this entry into the franchise would have likely destroyed it. It’s a rather piss poor entry in to the series. The film does not have one redeeming quality. Killer Tomatoes Eat France! is a very unfunny film, period. De Bello was leading everything up to this film, hinting at it in previous entries, and probably should have been the swan song. But it’s far from it. Some laughs are recycled from the previous incarnations; some of the other laughs are just bad. It even has an opportunity to make fun of the French at every turn; it does, but very poorly. And there are these mutant tomatoes that come out of nowhere to help reign terror across France, and guess what: they suck! It’s more than just bad. It’s sad.

And that’s unfortunate because it has such promise and hype built up from the previous films. Furthermore it has the same director and writers, returning cast members John Astin and Steve Lundquist, a hot blonde, and even FT making a comeback. It’s a recipe for success! Instead, Astin is dull, Lundquist is terribly unfunny, FT is now irritating rather than cute, the blonde is blonde, and the crew ended up making an annoying children’s flick. Plus they add Skippy from Family Ties in the lead that deserves a serious ass kicking for even showing up here. I don’t understand how the creators can take all the right elements and do all the wrong things. It’s sad.

I would give the film an ‘A’ for effort, but I don’t really think they were trying. Their final entry into this franchise is a disappointing unfunny dud. They took a joke straight out of a b-movie, ran with it an nearly killed it with the first film, revitalized it with the second film, and by this film… well, they already killed the joke by this point, they had no hope in hell to bring it back. The least they could have done was gone out on a high note, but no! If the franchise was truly dead by this point, Killer Tomatoes Eat France! was the cement poured on top of the coffin before it is ultimately buried. And it had so much promise too… It’s really sad.

Final Mark: 2/5

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EXTRA CRAP
The Good: At least John ‘Prof. Gangreen’ Astin is here to bring back any dignity lost from the franchise.

The Bad: Such a beautiful woman for the female lead… such a waste…

The Ugly: I want to punch Skippy in the throat!

In A Nutshell: The fourth and final entry in the Killer Tomatoes saga is not funny at all, and may have killed any remaining interest the franchise.

Useless Trivia: This was supposed to be the third and final entry in the series, but instead they made Killer Tomatoes Strike Back! as a third entry to obtain funding for this film. This clearly backfired by using all their good jokes in the third entry.

Favourite Quote(s):

  • Michael: What am I worried about? I'm 22 years old; I'm backpacking through France... Life is wonderful. Oh, who am I kidding? Michael J. Fox is a major motion picture star and I'm making a Killer Tomatoes movie, part 4! What am I worried about? I'm making a movie. I'm filming in France. I've got a piece of the merchandising! It beats dinner theater.