Here's the thing about making something intentionally bad.

[Reprinted with permission from Twitch Film. I was going to write an article on this, but Twitch beat me to it and probably did a better job of it. The original article can be found at http://twitchfilm.com/news/2011/04/heres-the-thing-about-making-something-intentionally-bad.php. And by the way, you really should read Twitch Film]

Here's the thing about making something intentionally bad.

It's still bad.

I wonder sometimes if Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez really understood what they were kicking off when they embarked on their Grindhouse project. Since the days that project was announced scores of filmmakers - most of whom weren't even born when the original grindhouse movement was in swing - have cranked out low budget, deliberate grindhouse throwbacks. Most of these intentionally embed 'flaws' in the name of 'authenticity'. Any weaknesses in filmmaking technique are explained away with a shrug and a "Hey, it's grindhouse. It's supposed to be bad."

I have watched scores of these films. They are almost universally unwatchable to all but those who made them. They're not funny. They're not clever. They're just plain bad movies and I want people to stop making them. Stop explaining away your shitty technique with "Hey, it's supposed to be that way!" Because all you're doing with that argument is proving you don't understand the original movement at all.

Because, you see, no movie that was intentionally created to be bad has ever gone on to find an audience. Movies made to be bad are just plain shitty and nobody likes watching that. No serious, professional filmmaker ever set out to make a bad movie. Not one. They all set out to make the best movies they could under the circumstances they were presented with. It's the struggle to be good that gives them their vitality and their continuing drawing power. When they're funny it's not because they wanted to be bad - it's because they tried to be good and missed so badly. Even Ed Wood believed he was making art.

You cannot make a Plan Nine From Outer Space on purpose. This is why I haven't bothered to cover the upcoming remake. I don't give a damn. You cannot replicate the goofiness of the original and there isn't enough there to make a truly good film. So why bother? You can't make The Room on purpose. You can't make Birdemic on purpose. You simply cannot. And the unifying factor among the people who have made these films is that they generally don't realize why people actually like them.

You know why Hobo With A Shotgun is good? Because Jason Eisener made the best damn movie he could with the resources he had without ever once jumping up and down shouting "Look at me! I'm GRINDHOUSE!" You know why Black Dynamite is so damn great? Because Michael Jai White and Scott Sanders made a film that celebrated the stuff they love instead of mocking the weaknesses of the original genre.

I'm tired of watching your shitty-on-purpose movies. Life is too short to waste on shit whether intentional or not. Stop sending them to me. The next screener I receive for a film shot on cheap video with a bad digital overlay put on it to simulate the scratches of old 16mm film I am going to burn. In fire. The next time someone sends me a film with a 'missing reel' I'm going to beat it with a hammer. You want to impress me? I'm not impressed by your immense sense of irony. I'm not impressed by your ability to make shit. Anybody can do that. Impress me by making something good.